This is not uncommon for me now days. I have come to embrace it and just pray through what it might mean for me. What do I need to get from this, type deal.
Going on 2 weeks now the song "Goodness of God" has ran through my head. Over and over again.
I lay down to bed at night and it starts playing, I get up in the morning and it is playing.
I feel like it's a beautiful reminder that even in the worst of times God still runs after us. His goodness surrounds us. His love protects us (even from ourselves sometimes).
I have come to be thankful for it. On the days the past few weeks when I am frustrated, tired, angry and honestly doing really awful.... I sing of the Goodness of God. I sing out to Him and thank Him for running after me.
I know we have all had times when we thought we were alone, left unwanted but God was running after us even then. I think about a little girl beat down, broken and left in a closet in a mess, and I see Him running after me then. When I thought I was all alone, and hurting. I see Him picking me up and holding me keeping me alive. I see Him there when I was angry after being sexually assaulted and thinking "why me" and feeling alone in crowds of people, wanting to do anything to make the pain stop. I see Him running after me.
The songs says, 'all my life you have been faithful, all my life you have been so so good'. I didn't believe that for many years, but here.... now.... I know it to be true. That all my life He has been so faithful, He has been so so good to me, and I am so grateful so I can sing of the goodness of God.
This week I went back and walked through the last week of the life of Jesus. I walked back through and read what He lived out. I can't imagine the pain He must have felt, what He endured for me and you. Most days when I think of the Love He poured out for me, for a broken, sinful, messy, filthy, person like me I am overwhelmed by that love. When no one else seemed to care and I thought there was no one who would love me, He did, He loves me still, in all my mess, even when I was running.
I am grateful for the Goodness of God. Not just this week, but every single day. I am grateful for the Love He has for us. So today and everyday I will sing of the Goodness of God, because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Him. He is so so good. Even when things seem to be at their worse, He has a plan. I have learned to trust the plan, even when I don't understand. I still have days that I fail, I get frustrated, and angry. On those days I am grateful for His love and patients, for the songs He puts on my heart to sing. To remind me of His love.
As I listen to the song now.... I am reminded once again... I am so glad that He loved me enough to go to the cross. He had a mission, and His Love for even me kept Him on that mission.
I love You Lord
Oh Your mercy never fails me
All my days
I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
I will sing of the goodness of God
All my life You have been faithful
All my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
I will sing of the goodness of God
I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In darkest nights
You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a father
I’ve known You as a father
I’ve known You as a friend
I have lived in the goodness of God
Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me
I have lived in the goodness of God
Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me
Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me
With my life laid down, I’m surrendered now, I give You everything
Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me
I pray this weekend and every day to come that you feel the Goodness of God. That you know He is running after you. That when you need a friend, He is that friend, when you need a Father, I pray you cry out to the Father. He hears you. He loves you. He is running after you.
He knows your pain, He knows your anger, He knows your frustration.
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