"Dear Moms
90% of the time my house is a beautiful mess, it's getting better as the years go by because the boys are older but now its all new kind of mess. Despite my best efforts, it is crazy, chaotic and absolutely unorganized. So let me give it to you straight. If I have to clean for three hours before you come over…
We can’t be friends. We just can’t.
It’s just way too stressful, and trying to keep my home perfectly neat in this stage in life is impossible and overwhelming. I used to be more put together, believe it or not, I am naturally organized ( and a little OCD) . But then my kids became mobile, they ganged up on me, and my life and time were no longer my own.
If you do come over, and I really want you to, I won’t pretend that I have it all together. Simply because I don’t. I believe real, authentic relationships are more important than an organized linen closet. One day those closets will be organized again, but today, my eight year old wants to show me his latest paper plane or latest painting and tell me a story, and my nine year old wants to tell me all about I new book and what's going on with his friends.
So, if you can push aside the piles of clothes that need to be folded, sit down with me among my chaos, with a hot cup of coffee. Even better, help me FOLD those clothes as you share your heart with me, I am listening and I truly want to know what's going on in your life. I promise.
On the flip side, if you are cleaning your house like a mad woman before I come over… for the love, stop doing that! Just stop it! You really don’t have too. I love you, just for you. And I want the real you. I know that underneath all those facades us women are SO good at creating- you are such a beautiful person. You don’t have to try to impress me, I know you are a good wife, a great mom, and an amazing housekeeper. Besides those crumbs on your counter make me feel at home. So please stop worrying about all that, I get it and I see you, the real you! We moms need to stop stressing over the little things because we all know what it's like, we may not share all the same trials through life, but I promise we all have them, but it's time for us to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves every day! The world seems bent on doing that for us. Love and accept each other and our messes.
❤ I know for me y'all are all amazing!"Its true... We do put so much pressure on ourselves and other moms and we need to stop...
Love each other y'all... lots of love and understanding and empathy...
I have been a happy stay at home full time mom and working around the house and the farm to being a single working mother and I can tell you this.... both have their pros and cons, both are hard, both take a lot out of you, its all on how you see the pro's and con's. It's our mind set. If we keep looking down at people because they make different choices then us we are just adding to the hate and ugliness of this world. Trust me when I say there is far to much of that already. I don't care if your a stay at home mom, OCD clean your house perfect mom, or a crazy busy working mom, you're doing the best you can and so am I so lets just not look down on each other...
I think men need to understand this too. Mom's are not the only ones working like dogs to not raise little butts of the future... There are Daddies out there need to understand too that we see you too.... most of the time we don't like you and that's our right if we don't want to like you all the time, we are the ones who grew a tiny human inside us and we popped out a person from our personal space... sure you had to live with us but we did that, so I feel, and this is strictly my opinion, that having a tiny human emerge from our body we get to not like you sometimes and you have to roll with it, because I said so. But we do see you, we see the long hours you put in too, we see the tired in your eyes, we know it's hard sometimes for you too and we see you.... we understand....
So I guess what I am saying is this.... Dude.... this adulting stuff is hard... kids to raise, bills to pay, relationships, with a partner or spouse, or ex-spouse trying to co-parent or even relationships with friends and family... it's all hard.... the small stuff like..... the house being perfect, looking like you have all your crap together.... it's all small stuff... what's important to me .... is that when someone says hey I want to stop by or they just stop by.... they have something to say or they miss you and want to see you or see how your day has been.... they want you and your time... so what you just came from the gym and you are all smelly from the gym.... your hair is all over and mostly you feel like you could die.... you sit and you talk and you take 30 min's out of your day and say I love you, I stink and look like I have been hit by a train but I love you and I know you love me and what ever you need to talk about and get off your chest.... I am totally here.
So get out there and love each other and stop stressing.... it's going to be okay.... maybe sometimes it feels like it wont but I know it will.... and We got your back.... so find your person or your people and lean on them when time gets hard and you feel like the world crashing in .... lean on your person.... and don't worry if you feel like you seem like a wreck .... you probably are... and that's okay... be a wreck.... own it, pick yourself up and move on where you are ready. If you don't have a person I will be your person.... I will listen, I will drink coffee with you or tea...if you need help folding clothes, I will help (except socks, I don't do socks)... if none of that works.... we will turn the music up and dance till we laugh so hard that our stomach hurts and we can't breath till you feel better.... or go for a run and I will run till I can't run anymore.... what ever it takes... because I know if it were me, my people would do it for me.... and this world needs more of that. The world needs more love.
